Lifslevande / Alive

I woke up early this morning, I had an appiintment with my physio Anna at 8 am. Todays "exorcise" was to messure the movement in my joints and the strenght, and destruction, of my muscles. Anna is a fantastic physio, I have had 31 physios through my 29 years but Anna is one of the very best!! She really tries to understand me and my body, she treis to find ways around obstacles and she supports me. The messurements today showed that my joints has gotten much worse, and also my muscles. The only thing that has really improved was my elbows and the fact that I can stretch my arms a bit further than before. We have practised that alot at aqua so I'm pleased that it showed result!!!
Anna was very supportive about the deterioration of my muscles and jints and promissed to get a hold of my reumatologist to try get her to find a new course of treatment for mer. The major problem with a reumatic illness is that you "relaps" (hard to find a proper word for "skov" in English...) and then you trie to work to get back to where you once were, but you never end up at the step where the relaps started. It's so hard to explain but try to imagine my path of life as an alphabet where A is the step I'm at now (to make it easier). When I relaps; as you do every now and then with reumatic illnesses, you fall "down" to an F on the alpabetic scale. You work and work to try to stop the relaps, to get back to the A where you were just a few weeks ago. Yes, you get better but you only end up on a C or a D... You are still worse than when the relaps begu, but better that the worst days and weeks of it. Is it understandable?!?!
So, the problem is really that I keep getting worse and need a course of treatment to slow down the deteuration and the frequenze of the relapses. I would like to get "well", but I know I can's so what I want is to slow down the progress, slow down the speed of which my body breaks down- one step at the time. It's sad..., I really can't understand it!! It's difficult to get my head around it... I have two illnesses/ syndromes that keeps destroying my body, that keeps taking away functions of my body and that keeps making me more and more unable to do what I want. I try to take controll, try to think ahead ans really, really try not to get defeated. It's just though! It really is.
I keep repressing what has happened during prior relapses and during times of the year when the weather is cold, dry and wet. I end up supprised every single autumn when the big relapses comes, when I have to fight even more to get my ingers to cooperate, to be able to stand up for longer periods of time and I also tend to forget about the pain....
Oh lord, here we go again! But still, I love the autumn! I love the beautiful colours, the chilly mornings and the crispy weather. I love the rainy days when you can sit inside and read, drink tea and cuddle with your loved one, i.e Louis =).

Yes, Louis. His tummy is making my life difficult again! It's not easy to love someone as much as I love Louis!!
Louis seems to have no problems at all; he's as picky as ever with his food, as mad as always when the postman comes and this morning he had a lovely "cuddle-time" with my neighbours cats! Louis sat outside our door with four cats around him, wagging his tail! The cats walked around him, rubbed themselfs against him. He just sat there as the king of the hood and loved having the cats around him! I held him, just if he got naughty ideas ;-)!! But it all went well and louis loves my neighbours "daddy" cat Benjamin. My neighbours have 5 cas; mummy cat, daddy cat and three one year old "kittens". Since we moved here Louis has gotten to know all the neightbours cats as the cats are outdoors alot of the time. We run past them on our way up to our appartemnt, in the garden and in the yard. My lovely little Louis!
There's one cat "Snow white" that has given Louis a scar abow his eye...

Louis tummy, please keep your fingers crossed that Louis will bounse back as quick as possible. I don't know if it is so "bad" or just me being sooo worried all the time 'cos I love him soooo much!! I mean, anybody can hava a doddgy tummy and it can take a while before the stomach gets back to normal. As I have said before, the memory of Decembers close-to-death illness has caused me to worry alot over things that might not be so serious. Might.... I just don't want to end up loosing my Louis! An animal is so much more fragile than a human as their life expectanse is...shorter. But, that doesn't prevent one from loving them just as much as a human! I don't have any children, Louis and I live on our own- he's my everything! My days evolve around him!!! Louis is the best medication in the world- I would be much worse of if I didn't have him to keep me on the go ;-)

                     
                              
                                                                       "Hello world!!!""